Today I'm not very well at all.
Everything seems to have caught up with me.
This is what I have... Myalgic Encephalopathy
It pretty much sucks. I find it hard sometimes, well alot of the time to tell people that I am really struggling with it. When I'm struggling with it.
I was reading some statistics up on it earlier, i must admit when you are low it probably is not the best thing to do. Anyhow. Its confusing, I'm torn between two extremes.
On some of the websites they talk about those who are bedridden, and I think back to when that was me, not making it to school due to extreme pain and tiredness amongst other things that a 12 year old should not have to go through. 10 years on and I'm better than I was then, so much better, I can only praise God for my progress because without him I would not be able to be so strong and determined. That is the word I think, determined. I am determined not to return to how I used to be, in this determinedness I am busy, too busy. With a degree and counselling and youthwork and friends and family and life. People often say that I'm one of the buisiest people they know. Sometimes I do to.
Then I have days like this where after 2o lectures and a day of placement plus a busy week before hand I'm having a mini crash.
I don't really know how I coped back then, when I was younger. It feels like I was a diferent person then. Something that helps me now is my friends. Some know and some don't. Those who do are awesome, those who don't, I know if I could explain they would be awesome.
Its not a nice thing or fun thing to try and understand, so I am even more blessed when they want to.
I know I will be okay. But it just sucks from time to time, I think thats allowed.
On a side note, I am sad because I didnt get to make pancakes yesterday.
Also, I watched one tree hill last night, the dare to dare episode, LOVE it.
On a further note.
I used to watch this with my parents when I was a kid. This new movie looks very fun.
Posts
2 comments:
I'm sorry to hear it, my dear. If there is anything I/we can do, do let us know. You are very much loved...
Aww... honey, I know what you're going through, and sounds like we're both doing pretty poo at the moment. Hugs.
Post a Comment